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Joke of the Day

"What's the best was to piss off an archaeologist ? Hand him a used tampon and ask him which period it's from."

"looking for roommate, utilities included. if you're taller than me, i get to ride your shoulders when we are in the same room. no exceptions"

"Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? I would too if my name was NUYHAIMONBARG"

"Yo mama so fat.... pickup lines don't work on her."

"Why did the train go left? Cause it couldn't get on the right track. I made that joke when I was little and remembered it today, might as well post it."

"What do you call a kid with no arms or legs. Names."

"What would you call Martin Luther king Jr if he was white? Alive."

"Did you know that the Shitzu and Bulldog breeds can never crossbreed ever? Just kidding, that's bullshit."

"What's the similarity between light beer and having sex in a canoe? They both increase the risk of drowning."

"If your joints pop, snap, and crack when you move your not old... Your just crispy. "