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Joke of the Day

"I read that 83% of prison inmates are Christians...should I be concerned with my safety when I'm up in Heaven?"

"There are two types of people in this world :) and (:"

"Vegans think they will live longer than us, but they don't realize they are 100 times more likely to be murdered mid conversation."

"If your body is a temple, does than mean that bald guys get to come inside you?"

"Why does a chicken coupe only have two doors? Because if it had four it would be a sedan."

"Smokey The Bear is the narc version of Yogi Bear."

"How to piss off an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him to determine the period."

"No one shows their true character more than when they are retrieving their bags from baggage claim"

"What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? An ass that will bring a tear to your eye."

"This Prius we rented is pretty sweet. It can go 0-60 in 6 hours."