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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the brain implant that can fix stupid? It's called a bullet."

"My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, ""your daughter"" wasn't the right answer."

"""Bjark! Bjark!"" -Bjork's dog"

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar and one looks to the other and says ""man, I can't believe I blew 40 bucks in there."""

"Cunt Jokes Q. What do you call a pink tractor? Ans: A cunt-tractor (contractor)"

"I haven't been drinking. I know what day it is. I didn't lose my pants. This might be my car. I know how to drive. -Lies I've told to cops."

"I saw a middle aged man staring at a picture of his very first steps. With tears in his eyes, he told me he regrets ever replacing the steps with an elevator."

"What do you get when you cross a gangster and a serial killer? Murdered. (If you don't get it: ""cross"" can mean ""betray"")"

"Two old nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man runs up to them in a trench coat, opens it wide and flashes them. One of the nuns immediately had a stroke. The other couldn't quite reach."

"Would you like a bag with that? Would you like a bag with that? Would you like a bag with that? I know now it isn't really the most efficient way to sell tea!"