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Joke of the Day

"So I realized that there is no difference between races. At the end of the day we are all cummin the same color, white."

"My friend is looking for a single, normal, well adjusted man. I told her to avoid twitter."

"Teacher and Student Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that? Boy: Me and I'm going home now."

"WOULD YOU RATHER: have six arms or giant antlers? (You don't really get a choice; the surgeons were just sort of curious.)"

"I really like that new Westworld show. But sex with robots makes me uncomfortable. Every time I try it - my nuts get pinched in her gearbox"

"Why do Jewish men get circumsized? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off"

"This tag on my panties has been tickling my ass all morning, I was gonna cut it off but I'm lonely"

"What is a monster's favourite society? The Consumers' Association."

"Did you hear there was a fire in George Bushes personal library? It was awful! Most of his books hadn't even been colored in yet."

"[Therapist appt.] Hub: She doesn't have her priorities straight. *Me on FaceTime with a petting zoo in the background* ""That's not true"""