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Joke of the Day

"Me: Alexa, did you hear what Siri just said about you?! Alexa: Hold my beer!!!"

"I went to this zoo the other day, but there was only one dog inside. It was a shitzu."

"The fact that they call it the Food Pyramid and not Food Triangle implies it has at least two other sides. So maybe this much taffy is OK"

"Ford Ibble A car salesman asked me, ""What are you looking for in a car?"" I said, ""It has to be affordable"" He said, ""I'm sorry sir, I've never heard of a Ford Ibble."""

"Since Thanksgiving is tomorrow How do you keep a turkey in suspense?"

"How does a restaurant make $1 million You start with $2 million!"

"What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? A Chocolate Chip Wookiee."

"What did the police officer say to stop the depressed man from jumping off the bridge? You have potential. Sorry if this is a repost, just thought of it now."

"What do people who don't like the slippery slope argument call it? The slippery slope fallacy"

"[walks into gym with my sunglasses on] WHATS UP LADIES *takes off sunglasses* damn it 3rd treadmill I've hit on this week"