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Joke of the Day

"I wouldn't want to live forever. I don't even want to stay at a party past eleven."

"Why was the turkey (bird) named after the country? Because fuck you that's why"

"Medical fact: If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day it increases the chance of a stroke. If you let her finish the bottle she'll probably suck it as well!"

"Why did Saint Francis cry? Someone called him Assisi."

"What do you call a pack of sorority girls who aren't in law school? Deez hoes ain't lawyers."

"What did one redneck say to the other? If you were anymore inbred, you'd be a sandwich."

"Our teacher talks to herself does yours ? Yes but she does't realise it she thinks we're actually listening !"

"What is the difference between a Pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches..."

"Where do you party on a ship? Where the funnel be!"

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A Fsh."