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Joke of the Day

"FIRST MONSTER: Am I late for dinner? SECOND MONSTER: Yes everyone's been eaten."

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"I'm thinking about getting an arm tattooed on my snake."
"What happened when the two angels got married? They lived harpily ever after! "
"What's the best way to get a redditors attention?"
"Reality T.V. Show Idea: Put The Kardashians, Honey Boo Boo, and the Jersey Shore cast on a island. Have them fight it out until the last one stands and call it ""Who Gives A Fuk"""
"According to my Ex, we only had 2 problems: 1. Me. 2. Not her."
"If you want to find a cure for stupid, take a tissue sample from people who call and request songs they're already playing 50 times a day."
"Post your best ""Jared Fogle"" jokes! Here's mine:Jared Fogle loves to eat little girls ham sandwiches."
"How do you know if a Chinese person robs your house? Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway."
"Philae comet lander wakes up [After 7 months] ""Where the *fuck* am I?!"""