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Joke of the Day

"Tried to prank my Tibetan Buddhist friend. I tried to prank my Buddhist friend from Tibet, I told him the Dalai Lama had died. He was skeptical and said ill bereave it when I see it."

"""Okay, just gonna check Twitter ONE MORE TIME and then I'll get back to work."" - me, always"

"Friend at the pub says: if they ever make a film on Oscar Pistorius, it shouldn't be called 'Bladerunner', it should be called.... Taking the Pisstorius."

"It makes me a little sad that shaking a vending machine might be the closest I ever come to fighting a robot."

"Why should you avoid people dressed as celery? They could be stalking you!"

"I wish I could unhinge my jaw so when the dentist says ""open wide,"" I could really wow him."

"What did Drake Bell say to Batman? Sorry, still calling you Bruce! I found this on Facebook somewhere; I dunno who to get credit to."

"Of all the martial arts, karaoke inflicts the most pain."

"I think we should invest in mosquito nets for Africa We can save millions of mosquitos from needlessly dying of aids"

"Never eat bear steaks... they're too gristly. (grizzly if you didn't get it)"