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Joke of the Day

"Everybody always says say ""No!"" to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late"

"Me: *sneezes* Mom: Remember February 17, 2009 when I told you to bring a jacket?"

"Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing."

"Why aren't there any pedophiles in Japan? Because they learned what happens when you touch a little boy."

"What's the difference between a Porsche and a Skoda? Paul Walker wouldn't be seen dead in a Skoda."

"You cannot taste me until you undress me. Sincerely , Banana"

"A woman started choking in the line at Starbucks- it was so scary but thankfully someone opened another register."

"""Honey, let's have a baby."" - a cannibal couple discussing dinner plans."

"Riding a moped is like riding a fat chick It may be fun but you wouldn't want your buddies to see you on one"

"Coworker: I was named after my grandfather. Me: Of course you were, he was born first."