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Joke of the Day

"Why is it both a good idea and bad idea to hire a Logophobe as an editor? - .... . -.-- / .- .-. . / .- .-.. .-- .- -.-- ... / .--. ..- -. -.-. - ..- .- .-.. .-.-.-"

"My parents asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I said I wanna watch. So they let me"

"I kinda want one of those priest collar thingys. If it gets me through airport security fast AND keeps kids away from me. I'm in."

"How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? None - They just have a nursing assistant do it."

"My gangster name would be The Street. If someone dared to oppose me I'd say ominous things like ""Look both ways before you cross The Street"""

"I just discovered my new room mate is secretly a hard core racist and i wonder if should report him to the police. The dude takes part in illegal high speed car races at midnight"

"Which athletes will not get Zika at Rio 2016? Those on Team Great Britain, because they'll leave."

"Illegal eavesdropping The Patriot Act Section 215 has expired. The NSA will now stop illegally eavesdropping!"

"Have you seen the movie - Constipated? No? Why? Cause it hasn't come out yet!"

"Your mom and a washing machine... Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?? The washing machine doesnt follow me around for a week after I drop a load in it..."