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Joke of the Day

"Your mom and a washing machine... Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?? The washing machine doesnt follow me around for a week after I drop a load in it..."

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"Can humans justify anything? Obviously not, just look at Adam Sandler's career."
"I figured out a way to chop onions without crying... The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion."
"Did you hear about the statistician's party? The dress code was causal."
"Such a double standard that when a guy sleeps with a ton of people he's ""cool,"" but when I do I'm ""lying"""
"FARMER: can I help you, sir? ME: this ain't my first rodeo, buddy FARMER: [narrows eyes] ME: ok maybe it is [climbs off sheep]"
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotapus"
"What's Hitlers favorite video game? Space Invaders"
"What did the big chimmney say to the little chimmney? Stop smoking. You are too young to smoke"
"Them: If you were stranded on a desert island with any two people, living or dead, who would they be? Me: Can they both be dead?"
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