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Joke of the Day

"My grandma got her bathroom redone with this sparkly gold-specked tile and she just called it her ""golden shower"" so goodnight."

"What do hurricanes most like to eat for dessert? -Candy Canes"

"One of my ancestors invented the glove Well, he had a hand in it"

"What has four legs and two assholes? A police horse."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use a urinal? Because the p is silent."

"""Hey Dad, I'm going to the airport. Call me a taxi.' Dad : ""Hi taxi"""

"I once solved a Rubik's Cube by not buying it."

"ME: How much for this aggressive bottle of water? FIREFIGHTER: Sir that's a hydrant"

"When we were vacationing in New Zealand, I bought myself a back-scratcher made from a Kangaroo claw. ... ... The only downside is when I use it on myself, I end up feeling jumpy the rest of the day."

"My hooker friend finally got a toilet installed at her brothel. Now she can poop where she pleases."