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Joke of the Day

"Happy fathers day... ... you motherfucker"

"Use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence My brothers girlfriends boobs are so big when she wears a ten button shirt she can only fascinate."

"A guy walks into a bar, and the bartender looks up and says... ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"I like my cigarettes like my Instagram. \#nofilter Edit: learned formatting"

"When my upstairs neighbor uses the toilet It's some next level shit"

"Why don't people get married in North Korea? Well, all marriages are legal in North Korea, but no one has them because there's no rice to throw."

"I'm Thirsty! Hey Thirsty, I'm Friday. Wanna go out on Saturday for a Sunday? ^I'm^sorry"

"A man goes to the doctor for a prostate exam. The doctor pens the following in his notes ""Patient presented with anxiety""."

"A little boy asks his dad, ""Is it possible to get AIDS from a public toilet seat?"" His dad replies, ""Only if you sit down before the other guy stands up!"""

"My girlfriend started eating my ass during foreplay last night, She asked ""Have you taken a shower today?"" And I said ""What's a shower got to do with my asshole?"""