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Joke of the Day

"I like my cigarettes like my Instagram. \#nofilter Edit: learned formatting"

"I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit. And all I did was sign up."

"I recently became friends with someone from Central Europe We met at a Chess tournament and I've never once beaten him in a game. He's my Czech mate"

"Ten out of ten pigs prefer turkey bacon over regular bacon."

"Where did socially awkward Nazis get sent? To the conversation camp! (That was a part of my shower thoughts and popped spontaneously into my mind)"

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing a chicken."

"How does a black women tell she is pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out and the cotton is already picked."

"Why do wrestlers love video games? Because of the lutte"

"You know what screw programming C-out"

"There were two fish in a tank. There were two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"" How much do pirates pay for their earrings? A buccaneer."