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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend started eating my ass during foreplay last night, She asked ""Have you taken a shower today?"" And I said ""What's a shower got to do with my asshole?"""

"Aw, crap, I just ate a silica gel pack. Why didn't I take seriously the ""Do Not Eat"" warning on it? It just looked so effin' delicious."

"A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in."

"Whats the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You cant unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork!"

"Loose weight I feel that the only option for me to loose weight is to either smoke crack or ingest a tape worm but they both require a commitment level that I am uncomfortable with."

"I've never fucked a poofter, but I've fucked a bloke who has."

"How do you get jizz off a Scrabble board? Don't bother, that's 29 points right there."

"Ever get high off of watching Rambo? I got really Stalloned the other night."

"People who talk with your phone on speaker like it's a Star Trek Communicator - we're trying to have a society here. And everyone hates you."

"Why did dave go into the backseat? Because kurt called shotgun."