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Joke of the Day
"Me: this is shit, I'm changing the channel Wife: leave the baby monitor alone"
Next Joke
"So, a female friend asked me for my honest, unbiased opinion of her... ...on a scale from 1 to 10. I looked her up and down and said, quickly, ""You're an eight."" I think she peed a little."
"What do you call a guy that hates Christmas and steals the woman you love? Ebenezer Scrooge-yagirl"
"What do you call a bear that can't win? A Chicago Bear"
"Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight? BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE"
"What does British toilet paper and John Wayne have in common? It's rough, and tough, and doesn't take any crap."
"I know a great knock knock joke. You start."
"One of my grandfather's favorites. What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor? ""Ptui"""
"The Detroit Lions"
"I opened a company selling landmines that look like prayer mats ... Business is booming and Prophets are going through the roof."