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Joke of the Day

"Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight? BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE"

"A man goes to a library and asks if they have a book on suicide The librarian says ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back."""

"I've never seen a nudist I wanted to see naked."

"Why did the 16 year old girl get pregnant? She went to Jared."

"What do you call an Arab man who drives a bus? A bus driver."

"[first date] Her: I love your scent, what is it? Me: desperation."

"There's a couple flies in my room... I'm trying to sleep and they're bugging me."

"What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions."

"How do you know if your neighbor voted for Trump? They've got a big burning ""t"" in their yard."

"Santa: What do you want for Christmas? Me: a dragon! Santa: noo, be realistic Me: a girlfriend Santa: * cough * what color do you want your girlfriend?"