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Joke of the Day

"I'm not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I'm forgetting to do."

"Where did the King keep his armies? Up his sleevies!"

"Karma is my daughter bragging about getting to sleep late this week and forgetting to turn off her alarm."

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression... ...unless you keep a stash of roofies on you at all times."

"I made a popular girl laugh today... by asking her out."

"It's been pretty rough going, but I think I finally beat my crippling addiction to sobriety."

"What's the difference between Indiana and Reddit? In Reddit, you get served no matter who you are."

"Man's just been jailed for stealing an advent Calender He got 24 days"

"Every time you use a q-tip... you turn a q into an o"

"Me to Dr: I have no energy lately. Dr: you need to exercise more Me:... Dr:... Me: Let's start this again."