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Joke of the Day

"Me to Dr: I have no energy lately. Dr: you need to exercise more Me:... Dr:... Me: Let's start this again."

"I saw a Russian eating a potato.. I said ""Whoa! too soon"". RIP M. Hedberg"

"So I heard Donald Trump is running for president again. You guys know that if he wins, we'll all be f****d, right? That's right. Fired. ;)"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Sumo Barbie ...comes with thong"

"Prior to officially becoming a part of the United States, what was Oregon like? It was very unOregonized."

"Now I'm not saying I plan to be a school shooter... but if I was Dylan.."

"I'm good at multitasking and procrastinating, which means right now there are at least 28 things that I'm putting off until later."

"Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color? he had a reptile dysfunction..."

"""Once you go on the grass it is really hard to get out of it"". - my six year old nephew while playing NFS. I was like i know exactly what you are talking about!! ;)"

"[In elevator] Penguin: what floor do you want? Man: 5th please. *penguin accidentally slaps all the buttons with his fin*"