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Joke of the Day

"Who are the most decent people in the hospital? The ultrasound people.!! lol"

"Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs!"

"I just got done watching the Lego Movie with my daughter. The premise is so amazing... It makes me wonder why the Mega Blocks movie fell apart."

"I couldn't believe it when my wife said she was leaving me because I'm obsessed with The Monkees... Then I saw her face"

"How does the Consigliere get into the Godfather's house late at night? with his own set of donkeys!"

"Someone should write a book where the character slowly falls in love with the reader."

"[Cops at crime scene] Cop 1: Criminal scum. They must have taken every single toilet. Cop 2: Wow, they really left us nothing to go on."

"""It's a boy!"" Mario shouted. ""It's a boy!"" With tears rolling down his cheeks, Mario came running out of the room....and never visited Bangkok again."

"I don't do Botox anymore cause when I can't make my angry face, people just assume it's ok to talk to me."

"your mother's so dumb... ... she thinks asphalt is a disease, and asbestos is the cure."