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Joke of the Day

"What do you do with an epileptic lettuce? Make a seizure salad"

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"A seven year old walks into a bar nes and noble."
"What's a businessman's favourite dessert? Profiteroles!"
"What was Hitler's favorite drink? Orange jews."
"What did Helen Keller call her dog? <smashes keyboard>"
"Why can't SCAT be legally banned? I could've gone my whole life without seeing that shit."
"Donald Trump was down in Rio at the Olympics. He wanted to see how high the Mexican pole vault team was getting."
"When I awoke from the accident and they told me my fingers were broken... it was hard to grasp."
"Had a fight with a money wasp once I got a *paysting*"
"I quit drugs, and it made everyone happy. Except for my lamp. It won't talk to me anymore."