61971

Joke of the Day

"It's hard to think about mama johns staying home with all the children johns while papa johns are away at pizza wars."

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

"You know you're ugly when... someone hands you the camera for a group picture and you still break the lens."

"[Donald Trump's election speech] ""America, I have only 1 thing to say"" *pulls off wig & mask revealing Ashton Kutcher* ""YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D"""

"I was sold a calculator with the plus button missing. Something doesn't quite add up."

"Would you get your phone if you dropped it in a toilet? 1996: eww that's gross 2016: head first without thinking"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aileen ! Aileen who ? Aileen against my Rolls Royce!"

"Maybe that neighbor without a Wi-Fi password isn't an idiot. Maybe he's generous. And an idiot."

"Life of a chef must suck. All your work eventually turns to shit."

"How is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates? It doesn't really matter, as long as it has good cocoa content."