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Joke of the Day

"How many ants does it take to rent a house? Ten ants"

"How do you subdue a large snake? You use a boa restrictor"

"She said she was stripping to feed her kids but then got pissed when I started throwing food at her."

"What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Quatro cinqo. EDIT: Yeah, I take French, not Spanish. :)"

"Q: what do you call an orange Jew? A: Ivanka trump"

"What do you get when you kiss a bird? Chirpies. It's a Canarial Disease. It's Untweetable!"

"Brought a ninja to a gunfight and it was really cool. Everyone clapped. Then they shot him."

"Why is it customary to drink 8 mojitos a day in Cuba? It's the Hemming way."

"Lunch. Meeting. Sure, let's ruin both at once."

"Why is it the worst for Stevie Wonder when stopped by the police? He doesn't know why they're beating him to death"