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Joke of the Day

"How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? This change'll be fantastic. It'll be great. You won't believe how great this change will be."

"""What should we name them?"" Grapes ""And what about these?"" Grapefruits ""I see. So one is a larger version of another?"" Not at all ""Perfect"""

"whats the difference between your sister and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it"

"As I was paying the cashier for my Christmas tree, he asked ""Are you going to put that up yourself?"" No you sick fuck, I'm putting it up in the living room."

"The Dirty Dancing lift, except I'm throwing her off a cliff."

"An Irishman walks out of a pub."

"I don't wear a watch. I DECIDE what time it is."

"What do you call the horse than lives next door? A neighbour!"

"Taking my dog to the park is the same as my checking Reddit... We check out all the posts and piss on half of them."

"What is 12 inches and hangs in front of an asshole? A republican's neck tie."