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Joke of the Day

"whats the difference between your sister and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it"

"Did you hear about the black guy that jumped off of the Empire State Building Black lives splatter"

"What do you call playing chess against yourself? Chessturbation."

"I Never Buy Anything Containing Velcro It's all a total rip-off"

"What's the best part of a redneck brothel? The family discount"

"What's the difference between a Therapist and The Rapist? Just a little space"

"GEEK BOOTY CALL... ALLERGIES I'm allergic to three things: cheese, pollen and not being with you."

"Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully."

"I don't steal my tweets from song lyrics! Seriously. Y'all gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here."

"Sometimes I need ""Eye of the Tiger"" playing to get me to leave my bed."