208028

Joke of the Day

"whats the difference between your sister and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it"

"Why is Ohio State's basketball team so good? ~~Because they have great shooters~~ Because they drive and cut extremely well Thanks for nothing /r/news!"

"The female praying mantis... knows how to get ahead in life."

"All these ""reposted"" jokes are not really reposted They are just procedurally generated"

"What's Beethoven up to these days? Decomposing"

"""The Spoon"" Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. . Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."

"""Oh yeah, let's run to the hills. That sounds like a great idea."" -Ironic Maiden"

"Her: You into S&M. Him: Sure. Her: Good. *ties him to bed post* Him: Oh yeah. Her: Ready...? Him: Torture me! Her: *plays Nickelback*"

"I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me. She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon."

"A movie called Jurrasick Park where there's no dinosaur activity because they're now sick for some reason."