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Joke of the Day

"riding that line between i wish i didn't have to eat to live and food is the only thing that comforts me"

"Archaeologists digging in Egypt discovered a Mummy covered in Chocolate and Nuts Experts believe it to be a Pharaoh Roche"

"What does a Syrian refugee and an American abortion have in common? White people didn't allow them to come into the U.S."

"What's the cheapest form of birth control? Casey Anthony"

"Scandium, Iodine, neon, corium. What is it? It's Science. UPDATE: I'm an idiot"

"The best part of having a banana instead of a cell phone is no one on this plane can actually make me turn it off or stop talking into it."

"I often call my stepson a ""bitch"" and my stepdaughter a ""dickhead"" to show them the importance of gender equality."

"Crime rates are down 100% after President Obama made it illegal to do crimes. ""I don't know why we didn't think of this before,"" he said."

"If you don't get the joke look it up. Your mother was a hamster and your smelt of elderberries!"

"How did the duck become a junkie? He was addicted to quack."