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Joke of the Day

"Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Kim Jong has a short one, Mickey Mouse's isn't human, the Pope doesn't use his, and Cher doesn't have one. What is it? Last Names"

"How to play the Michael Brown drinking game Just stand there and take the 8 shots."

"Why is apple afraid of microsoft? because 7 8 10"

"How Many A Cappella Singers Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb? Twelve. Three to Physically Change the Bulb, Three to Talk About How Complicated it Was and Six to Call themselves Electricians."

"I lost all my fingers on one hand yesterday... ...but on the other hand, I'm okay."

"A guy calls his local butchery... - Do you have chicken paws? - Yes - Do you have chicken wings? - Yes, I do - Do you have pig's head? - Sure - You must look really funny then"

"Bro do you even-- Bro I do. *eyes begin to tear up* *fist bumping until the sun rises*"

"*licks ice cream cone Cone: I have a boyfriend."

"I had sex last night. Man I hate prison"

"""That's a sexy little outfit you're wearing,"" I said. ""I bet you want my cock in you."" ""Dave,"" my wife said, ""do you know I can hear you on the baby monitor?"""