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Joke of the Day

"When you wish upon a star Makes no difference who you are It's a ball of gas and fire It can't hear you."

"Daddy can u get me a drink? ""No, you're 5yo you can get your own drink"" Fine *goes to fridge ""While you're there can you grab me a beer?"""

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick. My dad used to tell me this all the time when I was little. Still makes me chuckle to this day."

"These generic frosted flakes are ooooooookay."

"*watching a scary movie* 7 y/o daughter: They're just people in masks, right Dad? *blankets pulled over my head* ""Sure, if you say so"""

"[public restroom] Me: We'll have to go some place else, it says ""unavailable"" Mom: Even the toilet found someone before you"

"idon't know what to say honsetly :\ ....00100 :D hey evrey body fuck yu !!"

"This guy just scrolls through his Facebook page... And then he notices that ""Steve (Minecraft) has blocked you."""

"My wife is an archaeologist I met her at a dig site, we carbon dated for a while and the rest is history."

"My Dad used to say ""Always fight fire with fire"" That's probably the reason they threw him out of the fire brigade."