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Joke of the Day

"Even if you're really tired, never try to hold your eyes open using toothpicks. DAMN YOU 1970'S CARTOONS AND ALL OF YOUR FALLACIES!"

"Norm Macdonald tells a good joke http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGr_7p5Ti0Q"

"The unused coloring book. Why can't the little girl color the elephant in her coloring book? Her arms are amputated."

"What's yellow and black that makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers going over a cliff."

"I am finally going to be rich someday... I've invested in toilet paper and funeral homes. 'Cause at some point, everyone has to go!"

"When midgets celebrate 4/20... Do they get high, or just get medium?"

"Why do felines always win board games? Because they are cheetahs."

"What do the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two and now it's too offensive to talk about."

"Needed directions in Hollywood last weekend So last weekend in Hollywood i managed to get lost so i approached a fancy looking black couple and asked for directions . . . They gave me their baby."

"I'm getting so pissed off with my new psychiatrist. I'm sure he's only treating my paranoia for the money."