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Joke of the Day

"I'm No Gynaecologist... ...but I know a cunt when I see one."

"OMG I'M SO OLD AND OUT OF TOUCH WITH POP MUSIC WHAT SONG DOES BREXIT SING"

"I asked a friend if he'd eat a piece of dog crap for $1K and he asked ""From whose dog?"" I'm having a hard time accepting that as a factor."

"Her: ""My baby paints with her food because she's artistic."" Me: ""That or your baby paints with her food because she's a goddamn baby."""

"Good for Christian Bale, visiting the victims of the Aurora, Colorado massacre. I heard some of them even got to meet Heath Ledger."

"Why are under-endowed men likely to get lucky with homeopathic physicians? Because they like their dicks vanishingly small ..."

"There is an Arab boy lost in the grocery store... The manager of the store walks up to the boy and asks ""what does your mother look like?"" The boy replies "" I don't know""."

"I've been attending Acronym Anonymous meetings recently. Or as I like to call it AA. I'm not making a lot of progress."

"They say real men hunt their food, which is why I throw a spear through the box of pasta before letting it bleed out in my shopping cart."

"Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A: Because the chicken wasn't invented yet."