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Joke of the Day

"Day one of acting school should be teaching actors how to hold an empty cup of coffee on 'Law and Order' like it's a full cup of coffee."

"You know how light travels faster than sound? Thats why some people seem bright until they speak."

"Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening it? Because there could be an Italian dressing inside."

"I'd do a joke about amphibians. But they've all been toad."

"I sleep with a water gun near my bed, in case of cat burglar."

"2 drunk guys were walking on the train tracks ""hey john, this stairs are reallly long"" ""don't worry, here comes the elevator"""

"Which fish dresses the best? The Swordfish - It always looks sharp!"

"12 ways to cut down on clickbait! This wasn't one of them"

"I've never thought about suicide until now... But it might cheer me up if you tried."

"Knock, knock. Honey, have you finished taking pictures of yourself for facebook? Daddy needs to take a sh!t.."