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Joke of the Day
"Chocolate Rain + Rickrolling = death by Youtube"
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"My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house anymore."
"Ramadan month is exhausting. You have to wait all day to Instagram your food."
"Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head? Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow."
"To do list:nn1) Kill the fly in my room. nn2) Try to snort multivitamins.nn3) Practice Hadouken in mirror.nn4) Kill the fly's loved ones."
"I don't understand you,"" cried my girlfriend. ""One minute you're really offensive to me and the next you're really polite."" ""Bitch, please,"" I said"
"Life without you is like FACEBOOK without friends, YOUTUBE without videos and GOOGLE with no results..."
"Optometrist: Any questions about laser eye surgery? Me: How big of lasers will my eyes shoot? Him: Me: Him: How much money do you have?"
"How did people travel through Germany when Hitler was in power? Not sea. Get it? like Nazi. but not sea. get it?"
"Is this the Alcoholics helpline? Operator: ""Yes."" Caller: ""Can you tell me how to make Sangria?"""