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Joke of the Day

"Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head? Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow."

"Times are tough, jobs are scarce, I know I don't have the greatest body, but for you single ladies, I'll gigolo if the price is right. . ."

"It weirds me out my phone won't swear. What, is it religious?"

"Why was the terrorist masturbating on the plane? He was hijacking it."

"What did Charles Darwin name his book about food? *On the Origin of Feces*"

"How old do I look? 9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any"

"Bad weather is My way of temporarily punishing you. Bad climate is your way of permanently punishing you."

"I love when people say ""If people hate you, it only means you're doing something right."" Because that's what Hitler would say."

"What happened when the lepers played poker? One guy threw down his hand and another laughed his head off. This was my best friend's favorite joke when she was little apparently."

"How do you find a blind man at a nudist beach? It's not hard"