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Joke of the Day
"Why does the Little Mermaid where sea shells? Because she can't fit in B shells!"
Next Joke
"two guys walk into a bar. The 3rd one ducks"
"*el chapo dies* God: okay I'm gonna have to send you to hell Chapo: ok *3 weeks later* Angel: El Chapo has escaped from hell"
"A hipster so cool he is reading a tree"
"Life is like a box of chocolates... it doesn't last long if you're fat."
"Why wasn't Jesus born in lindsay Ontario. Couldn't find three wise men. Or a virgin..."
"Return to empty house. TV turned on to UFC. Faint smell of Axe body spray. Worst fear realized. My house has polterguys."
"Maths joke: if you have a pizza with radius z and thickness a, it's volume is pizza (or pi*z*z*a)"
"No Grandma, ""sausage fest"" is not a new special breakfast at IHOP"
"I wish there was an emotional song about that moment you realize you're almost done with your burrito. Get on that, Taylor Swift."