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Joke of the Day

"I've just been on a once in a lifetime holiday... Never again. Credit: Tim Vine."

"I saw a ballet themed porn the other day. It was 'Fucking en Pointe'."

"If 50 cent went broke what would he still have? lotta bills.."

"I'm 25, which means I'm just as far from 10 as I am from 40. Although, in terms of money and maturity, I'm still way closer to 10."

"A Limerick There once was a man from Port Crown Who went to a doctor in town. The doc gave to he A sup-po-si-to-ry. ""I will not take this sitting down!"""

"The rose petal scene from American Beauty, but just me naked and covered in candy wrappers."

"What the hell do you mean Buzzfeed isn't a reliable news source, it knew exactly what kind of pancake I'd be"

"What do you call intercourse on a one-wheeled vehicle? Unisex."

"I'm not in a relation""ship,"" I'm in a relation""barge"" that's towing emotional garbage all day long."

"I'm wearing a tuxedo to work today in protest of casual Friday."