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Joke of the Day
"By a show of Hans, how many of you are German?"
Next Joke
"Shout out to the sense of wonder in the eyes of children. Also to pistachios. I'll eat a shit ton of pistachios. Mmmm pistachios."
"If you love someone, poison them a little bit each day. If they don't suspect you at all, they might be the ONE."
"Why is a giraffes neck so long? So it can reach its head."
"A large marine mammal was recently in Cardiff. It had a Wales of a time."
"I've grown an interest with Mussolini's Italy. I guess you can call it a fascistnation."
"We've all been there. In your mom, that is."
"Seize the day. Attack the week. Murder the month. Approach your life in a generally violent way."
"Why was the blond excited when she finished her puzzle after 6 months? Because the box said 2-4 years!"
"With a name like Progressive, shouldn't the commercials be better by now?"