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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pregnant nun who cycles to church everyday? No seriously, a friend asked me this and I didn't know."

"El Chapo is a very special guy... He's juan of a kind"

"Cop: License and registration please. Me: Give me a second, I'm drunk. Cop: Sir, have you been drinking? Me: No."

"[wife leaving for the weekend] ""Baby formula is in the cupbo--"" ""I think I know how to make a baby. Now go & enjoy your dad's funeral."""

"Me: I weigh 10x more than the cat and yet she trusts me completely. So sweet. You: Me: You: It's a lot more than 10x. Me: Don't ruin this."

"Samuel L Jackson's kids were so lucky to have him yelling at them their whole childhood."

"Why are football grounds odd? Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!"

"Mother: Did you enjoy the school outing dear ? Jane: Yes and we're going again tomorrow. Mother: Really ? Why's that ? Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind."

"the fondue...? you mean, my drinking cheese?"

"LeAnn Rimes No it doesn't."