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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells him, ""Sir, you have to stop masturbating."" The man asks, ""Why, doc?"" And the doctor replies, ""Because I'm examining you!"""

"Have you ever heard of the lady who was accused of being the infamous Quilted Killer? She's innocent until proven quilty."

"What would you get if you crossed a new-born snake with a basketball? A bouncing baby boa."

"Why did the storm trooper return his iPhone? Because it wasn't the droid he was looking for!"

"How do you stop your dog from humping your leg? You suck his dick. How can you tell your dogs gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"I think I'll go to church this morning. I need to repent all my sins & pray for the neighbors wife to covet me."

"What do women and KFC have in common? Once your done with breasts and the thighs, all you have left to do is stick your bone in a greasy box..."

"What is the best nickname for a nun in heaven? If you guessed ""Heaven nun"" or ""Angel nun"" you're wrong. The answer was ""Nun of the Above""."

"[At job interview] Interviewer: So tell me why you want this job. Me: I have no money and I prefer when I have money."

"Whats a similarity between planes and girls? they both have cockpits"