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Joke of the Day

"What is the best nickname for a nun in heaven? If you guessed ""Heaven nun"" or ""Angel nun"" you're wrong. The answer was ""Nun of the Above""."

"You might Be a redneck if..... Your bananas and your wife have the same amount of bruises"

"""What's that?"" A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in and I'm a little bit closer to freedom. *puts in dollar* ""WTH!?!"""

"My wife complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one."

"Why is C afraid of D? Because DEEZ NUTS!"

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles."

"I was in the living room and a book fell on my head. I've only got my shelf to blame."

"I ran into Harambe for the first time in a while last night, so we decided to go get a drink. Bartender: what'll you have? Harambe: I'll have a beer. Me: no, he'll have a shot."

"Why are Leprechauns always laughing? Because the grass tickles their balls when they run EDIT: I don't know why I decided to post this.."

"""This is The Grey Wall of China"" I think it's 'great' ""We all do, pal"""