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Joke of the Day

"What do women and KFC have in common? Once your done with breasts and the thighs, all you have left to do is stick your bone in a greasy box..."

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"What's the difference between my dick and my jokes? My girlfriend never laughs at my jokes"
"[last supper] ""Wine!"" exclaims Jesus touching everyone's water glasses. ""Wine, wine, wine [arrives at Judas] Mountain Dew lol."""
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day... ...set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
"Just because something is meant for kids doesn't mean it won't be amusing for adults. Boobs are a great example."
"If you play the movie Jaws backwards it's basically a story about a shark with bulimia."
"ME, HOLDING A MIC TO MY DOG'S MOUTH: who's a good boy DOG: your mom ME: please take this seriously"
"Mimosa's The morning after pill for an alcoholic's hangover."
"I'm sick of numbers defining who I am. * My GPA * My weight * My 1st degree murder convictions * My grades * My SAT scores These things are not who I am."
"Two condoms walk into a gay bar. One condom says to the other ""hey man, let's get shitfaced."""