13524

Joke of the Day

"WOW! The Vatican has declared child sex abuse is a crime. Next thing you know they'll ban burning witches!"

"What did the watermelon say to the honeydew? ""I'm sorry baby, we just cantaloupe."""

"*Takes out phone & plays Cindi Lauper's True Colors as you reach for the last slice of pizza without asking*"

"My nickname at work is ""HR wants to see you"""

"What do you call a hippy's wife? Mississippi."

"Two atoms One atom says to the other, ""you're a weird dude. You know that?"" The other atom responds ""hey man, we all have some quarks."""

"What's the quickest way to kill 100 Mexicans? Blow up their car."

"Hey cat, how's about I lick myself for hours then puke where you sleep? Don't answer that. Why do I even talk to you. Stop looking at me."

"What does a British man do when he finds a prostitute and is in the mood? He pounds."

"Yoga pants and Walmart My nephew told me all women have nice butts in yoga pants, so I took him to walmart so he could see the error of his thoughts."