60812

Joke of the Day

"What did the blind fortune teller tell his customer i can see your future (I'm not sure if this has been posted already)"

"A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He's now a seasoned veteran."

"What did the jealous prostitute say at the orgy? Don't blow this for me."

"Went to the doctor's office for my flu shot. He promised it wouldn't hurt... Insensitive prick."

"My grocery store keeps rearranging the produce section. If I need to work this hard to find bananas, there better be a damn tropical breeze!"

"Literally no one wants to be on the phone with you less than the lady who answers the phone at a Chinese restaurant."

"So there's this guy that does nothing but masturbate and watch Netflix all day... Oh wait... That's me."

"Finish this joke, ""I am Christian and I believe in science. In fact, I studied Physics at a Catholic University."" So far I have, ""Physics at a Catholic University? That's like studying... at a ..."""

"Two hipsters walk into a bar. The first did it before it was cool. The second did it ironically."

"What do you call lonely cheese? Prov-alone"