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Joke of the Day

"Schools kind of like a penis.. long and hard, unless you're asian."

"the horse meat scandal during the recent horse meat scandal in the UK they discovered that the Welsh lamb in Asda ( Walmart ) had 2% human dna."

"Saint Peter: Name M: David SP: You're in M: Even after that night in Nogales?! SP *winks* *takes a step* *trap door opens* SP: Sucka!"

"What do you call a Muslim father who works at a supermarket? a Baghdad"

"Why did the Soviets implement 5 year plans instead of 4 year plans? 'Cuz they were stalin'!"

"Isn't it fun how many different shapes pasta can be? My wife left me last night."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles. (read it out loud if you do not get it)."

"What do you get when two giraffes collide? a giraffic jam!"

"4-year-old: Can we have Oreos for dinner? Me: Are you crazy? That'd be terrible for you. 4: Mom's not home. Me: *eats Oreos for dinner*"

"I'd rather cuddle than have sex *then"