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Joke of the Day

"How do you fit 5,000 Jews into a Volkswagen? Two in the front, three in the back and the rest in the ashtray."

"Why are clothes so expensive? I shouldn't have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked."

"She promised to teach me wax on, wax off. Only now my chest is bare, I'm frightened of candles, and pretty sure I still don't know karate."

"The chicken's egg never hatched... It was a bad yoke."

"[walks into Halloween party with a hot dog taped to my head] ""What are you supposed to be?"" ME: I'm not wearing a costume"

"A psychiatrist is just a friend you pay to listen to your problems because your other friends are tired of hearing about them."

"""Would the owner of a blue PT Cruiser with license plate 'CRUZIN' please park your car 300 miles from here and kill yourself? Thank you."""

"What's the difference between a hobo on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? A tyre (attire)"

"Why do Republicans make good DJs? Because they know how to shut the House down."

"Why do ducks have webbed feet ? To stamp out forest fires !"