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Joke of the Day

"She promised to teach me wax on, wax off. Only now my chest is bare, I'm frightened of candles, and pretty sure I still don't know karate."

"You're not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU'RE RICH"

"Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics."

"Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth Then it just becomes a soap opera."

"THAT SH!T CRAY You can not underestimate the power of linguistic tracks. KANYE in my language means - go to shit."

"Eleven: We're not allowed to wear spaghetti straps at school. The straps must be at least 2 inches wide. Six: Oh yeah, lasagna straps."

"Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters? Because he hates capitalism."

"What is hot and makes me hard? Being covered in lava."

"I was walking down the street with my wife and she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her. ""That's total bollocks"" I replied, by text, from across the road."

"I wanted to ride my bike, But it was two tired."