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Joke of the Day
"Somewhere between murder and suicide There's Merseyside"
Next Joke
"Screaming, ""Hitler and the Nazi Party are in a disarray!"" when nudged at parties tells everyone that you fall asleep to the History Channel."
"How is a good criminal defense lawyer like a dead hooker? I use them both to get off."
"If bars can say no to drunk people why won't McDonalds say no to fat people?"
"Why do squirrels swim on their backs? To keep their nuts dry."
"How many push-ups is too many when meeting your girlfriend's dad for the first time?"
"The most dire of Jay-Z's 99 problems is his inability to properly delegate minor problems."
"Actor Jim Carrey vehemently denounced California's new vaccination requirement for all school-age children because it would render them immune to the childhood disease of being a fan of Jim Carrey."
"What is common between my ex-wife and my last job? They don't suck anymore."
"Wife: Let's get my mom a special gift; one that will make her lose her mind! Me: How about a guillotine? Wife: Me: I'll be on the couch."