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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Let's get my mom a special gift; one that will make her lose her mind! Me: How about a guillotine? Wife: Me: I'll be on the couch."

"If spiders ever figure out how to become ghosts, we're screwed."

"What did the guy say to the funny drug dealer? ""You really crack me up dude!"" The drug dealer responds with: ""How much?"""

"[yelling over loud strip club music] DO YOU ACCEPT KOHLS KASH"

"Little known fact: most shepards have NO idea how many sheep are in their flock.... Every time they try to count them....."

"How is there not an STD Clinic called, ""Clap on Clap off""?"

"My Father was a brick layer before he was sent to prison. To this day he still isn't a free mason."

"Thought my Siamese twin was giving me the cold shoulder. Turns out he was dead."

"What do you call the useless bit of skin at the end of a penis? A Man."

"No Grandma, an iPad is not a new brand of Maxi Pads"