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Joke of the Day

"What sexual position makes the ugliest babies? Ask your mom"

"What do you get when you cross a snake with a plane? A boeing constrictor"

"Still trying to figure out how Cee-Lo wipes his ass."

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me five times, good job, you're the guy who makes the trailers for the Paranormal Activity movies."

"My wife was excited after my vasectomy. She said it was a load off of her chest.^.(stole ^off ^imgur, ^sowwie)"

"Three elephants jump out of a plane. Two hit the ground and one lands in the water! Ba dum tssshhh!"

"I think I know why the black iPhone is completely faster than my white one. I am also very racist."

"If I could have dinner with anyone, dead and alive, it would definitely be Schrodinger's cat."

"Whom the gods would destroy, they first give the WORST leg cramp and you can't even get up fast because the cat is on you."

"How did the obscene telephone caller get attacked by the Gorilla? He made a mistake and dialled a preyer!"