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Joke of the Day

"Still trying to figure out how Cee-Lo wipes his ass."

"Two cannibals are stewing up a clown One turns to the other and says, ""Does this taste funny to you?"""

"Why do police ask to see your drinking license when they pull you over, but they call it a driver license like your bartender does before you can drink?"

"All I'm saying is God wouldn't have given me this wild hair if he didn't want me to store stuff in it. *baby hedgehog peaks out*"

"the umami flavor derives its nam from the phenomnenom of when u taste som realy good soy sauce & it causes u to sassily shout ""oo, mami!"""

"if you're happy and you know it... then the chemtrails are working Edit: credit to Welcome to Nightvale"

"What do you call nondeterministically scrambled Crunk? White and black noise."

"Shocked to see Gravity win a special effects award. Thought it was actually filmed in space"

"How does a Buzzfeed writer catch fish? Clickbait."

"Do I like like a fan to you? Because you seem so much cooler when I'm around."