227298

Joke of the Day

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me five times, good job, you're the guy who makes the trailers for the Paranormal Activity movies."

"Sex is like a game of cards. ....if you Dont have a good partner you better have a good hand!!!!"

"If the house is in the kitchen, and Diana's in the kitchen, what's in Diana? A state (Indiana)"

"What's another name for a dictator? Penis potato"

"Magic trick: Take your age, subtract three, now add three. That's your age."

"I was arrested yesterday for stealing eggs. I could've sworn they were free range."

"A Teacher asked for the chemical formula for water Teacher: Alright so what is the chemical formula for water? Me: HIJKLMNO Teacher: What are you even saying?! Me: You told us it was H to O!"

"tough choice Obama, Osama, and Hitler are lined up against a wall who gets shot first Obama for fucking this country"

"The itch from poison ivy is so bad that I just spent hundreds of dollars buying every possible cream and ointment at the pharmacy. I need to quit making rash decisions."

"Am I too fat? Wife: I too fat to be a personal trainer? Me: No honey you just need to lose weight."